Keeping Faith in Times of Adversity

My heart is sore. Ever since the news broke about the untimely death of Michaela Harte, my heart has been sore. I did not know Michaela, but her parents are both loving friends and colleagues of my devastated younger brother. Through my brother, In recent years the Hartes have become intwined into the background of my family, they have touched my family in gentle ways, at Christmas, Marian’s annual gift cake does not get time to rest before its gone,  and despite their own losses Marian and Micky have both offered their support and prayers dutifully in times of trouble, death and in times of sickness. The first time I had the ironic pleasure of meeting Micky was in one of these such times of loss.

It’s the only Wake I’ve been to where the grieving family lined up to shake the hand of the visitor. At my grandmothers Wake in 2001 Micky arrived with Marian’s cake underarm. Tyrone royalty had entered the building and the mourners in turn paid their respect to a man that brought Tyrone to the All Ireland. This is the effect of the man and his achievements. It was at this time I realised there was more to Micky than his sporting legacy. It is how he wears his humanity that sets him apart, he is the living embodiment of the bible verse, ‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud” Corinthians 13:4. He reminds me that there are other ways to live life. Perhaps, I too should open the Bible once in a while.

There is no doubt over the last few tragic days, the wider public have also felt the mark of the man: his humble demeanour,  his quiet strength and the gentle force of the faith of his beliefs emulating from his every word and gesture.  Clearly his love and service for God, his family and the wider community is something he aspires to and does not claim to own. Marian too is a lady, beautiful, gentle and compassionate, gifts she obviousily passed on to her only daughter.

It is no secret that Micky and Marian Harte are deeply religious, and it is evident this is a mantle they passed onto their children. There has been much in the press about Michaela’s own beliefs, her converstations with her priest on the meaning of life and death. “We often talked about the struggle between good and evil in the world and the importance of faith and coping with tragedy and grief and giving some kind of shape to our lives”. “To think this is the fate that awaited Michaela is beyond us.” Fr Gerard McAleer

Through the annals of history, it has shown that in times of great sorrow and loss that faith is questioned and tested. The heartache and pain are all too real for both the Harte family and for John McAreavey and given the circumstances it is hard to see how faith can endure. I only hope that the family can hold on to their spirit, wear their faith like a mantle, wrap it around them in protection and take comfort from the belief that Michaela’s spirit did not die, she is at peace and is a guiding light onwards in the dark days they have before them.

My heart is sore for a girl I did not know, my heart is sore for her new husband that was looking forward to the rest of his life with his beautiful bride, my heart is sore for her brothers to have lost a shining light in their lives, and  my heart is sore for Micky and Marian’s loss of their only daughter, their treasured gem. If my heart is sore, and the hearts of the country are sore then we can only empathise and imagine the pain Michaela’s family are all going through. For a parent to lose a child, in any circumstances is beyond the realms of my imagination, a place I never want to visit, but for parents to lose a child in such tragic, futile circumstance is unfathomable.

Since the news, I myself have been waking in the dead of night jumping out of bed to check the breath of my own two children in their sleep.  I then fall into bed and pray for Micky and Marian’s family and for John  McAreavey, I know I am not alone, and I have spoken to people who  whether they  know the Harte or McAreavey families or not, they too are touched by the tragedy, and their prayers along with mine are with them.

We can only pray, whatever our creed or whatever our spiritual beliefs and hope that the collective prayers and thoughts of many will help them carry this heavy cross.